eFollowingJesusMar9 - Divorce (read Matthew 19:1-15)
Is divorce permitted by Scripture? or more importantly, by God? Does the answer really matter? Nobody much comes to the Church to ask "May we exit our marriage?"
When we talk about Christianity and divorce, many people become angry - or they assume a judgmental posture. Divorce has become common, and it cuts deeply into the psyche. We all know and love people who have been divorced; we hurt for them, for us. We see them suffer in miserable marriages; we see them suffer through divorce. For each individual, divorce feels like failure.
But the truth is: we live in a culture of divorce, as each new divorce is swept up in its tide. Our culture says "Life is about me and my fulfillment," and so we ask "Is this divorce psychologically healthy? or financially feasible?" Among many, divorce is almost regarded as "cool."
Notice what Jesus diagnoses as problematical about divorce: husband and wife are "one flesh," so to tear one flesh apart is deadly. It is "adultery" to Jesus. But today, people become "one flesh" long before marriage, and multiple times. What happened to treating your body as a temple of the Spirit? In his mercy, Jesus would plead with us and say "Being joined physically is not trivial, not recreational. It is a lifetime, irrevocable bond. I tell you this not to spoil the fun, but so you may not fritter yourself away, so you might know true joy."
Is divorce sin? How could it not be? God's plan for us doesn't involve this hurtful carnage. Is divorce forgivable? Of course. How merciful Jesus was to people with fractured pasts! - including divorce (John 4:7-42, John 8:3-11). Can Christians learn to be as merciful when their friends are devastated by the agony of a broken home? Is there healing? Thankfully, yes. Hope with some dignity? Indeed.
Is it any accident that, right after Jesus' strong, uncompromising words on divorce, Matthew reports that "children came," and Jesus blessed them? To let children come into your life requires a commitment to provide them with a secure, committed environment, for parents to remain "one flesh."
Perhaps also we need to start our renovation of society with children, to paint a radically different image of what marriage is about than the one we have, as a society, ruinously patterned for them. What if we married in order to be holy (1 Corinthians 7:9)? or to mirror the love between Christ and his Church (Ephesians 5:32, Revelation 21:2)? What if, instead of asking "Is he making me happy?" we asked "How can we be faithful? How can we serve God?" What if, instead of the unmarried living as if they were married with multiple partners, we reserved intimate physical relations, sleeping, and sharing a residence until being married in the sight of God? Would that harm anyone? and can you think of anything that would be better for the children of our society?
Lord, deliver us from this society that catches and pierces us like barbed wire; we pray especially for the children, that they may know a better way.
James
james@mpumc.org
Here is the full text of Matthew 19:1-30 - 1: Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan; 2: and large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3: And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause?" 4: He answered, "Have you not read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, 5: and said, `For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 6: So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder." 7: They said to him, "Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?" 8: He said to them, "For your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9: And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another, commits adultery." 10: The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is not expedient to marry." 11: But he said to them, "Not all men can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12: For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to receive this, let him receive it." 13: Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people; 14: but Jesus said, "Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven." 15: And he laid his hands on them and went away. 16: And behold, one came up to him, saying, "Teacher, what good deed must I do, to have eternal life?" 17: And he said to him, "Why do you ask me about what is good? One there is who is good. If you would enter life, keep the commandments." 18: He said to him, "Which?" And Jesus said, "You shall not kill, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, 19: Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." 20: The young man said to him, "All these I have observed; what do I still lack?" 21: Jesus said to him, "If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me." 22: When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful; for he had great possessions. 23: And Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly, I say to you, it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24: Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." 25: When the disciples heard this they were greatly astonished, saying, "Who then can be saved?" 26: But Jesus looked at them and said to them, "With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." 27: Then Peter said in reply, "Lo, we have left everything and followed you. What then shall we have?" 28: Jesus said to them, "Truly, I say to you, in the new world, when the Son of man shall sit on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29: And every one who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold, and inherit eternal life. 30: But many that are first will be last, and the last first.
